Wednesday, November 8, 2017

But did you die?

Good Morning Dreamerz.

Todays post is not showcasing any cards or projects, but more of a tips for crafters and those who are the recipients of handmade items.

Last week I had my feelings hurt by a friend.  I sent out over 45 Halloween cards at the beginning of October, each with a handmade envelope, and each card different as no 2 cards were alike.  The friend sent me a Facebook message and it said "You spelled our name wrong on the envelope". WOW I was taken aback at this comment, no hello, hi how are you, no hey thank you for the lovely card, just you spelled our name wrong.  I did not even know what to say to this person and actually still have not said anything. 

As a little girl growing up I would take great delight in getting cards and letters in the mail.  I was raised in a time when writing letters and sending cards was something special and cheaper than a phone call. I was taught at a young age that even the simplest thank you note for a gift received in the mail or in person required a thank you note. I am thankful now as an adult to have received so many cards and letters from loved ones as I still have a big lovely box filled with them.  Now that many of these important people have passed away, I still have a tangible connection to them.
As a parent I have tried to raise my children with this same ideal. Now I understand modern times have changed the rules on saying thank you, as we now can send text messages, Facebook messages and even what was an expensive thing in the past is pretty much free a phone call. 
I am still a firm believer that if you receive a tangible gift, you send a real note thanking the person, but again that is just me and Miss Manners (showing my age again right?)

Fast Forward to the present and my hurt feelings. I spoke of the Mis-Spelled name to many of my friends in the crafting community, and those not in the community about this, and how it hurt my feelings. The following is some thoughts from them on the situation.
For senders of gifts or cards:
1. Send from your heart. Do it because it makes you happy, not because you expect anything in return.

2. Remember not everyone is as invested as you in the card or gift you made.

3. It does not have to look like it came from Hallmark or Tiffany's if it was sent from the heart.

4. KEEP IT REAL a fellow crafter I truly admire is Amy Tsuruta, she once sent me a card that she had accidently stamped the inside sentiment upside down. She attached a tiny post it that said "just keeping it real here".  I love this, and have sent many an ooppss card to family and friends. I like to call them happy accidents.

5. REMEMBER #1 ALWAYS. Don't let 1 unthoughtful person keep you from this.


For recipients of gifts or cards:
1. Acknowledge that you received the card or gift, the sooner the better. Even a simple text saying thank you.  Most of us want to know if the post office lost your item (they can be flaky), and when you say nothing we fear the worst. 

2. Rudeness: You’d think it goes without saying, but sometimes people can use thank yous as a way to be passive aggressive about not liking a gift. If you don’t like it, leave that thought to yourself- notes and messages are about thanking the gesture, not the specifics. (Unless it’s an offensive gift, etc.) If someone sent you a green sweater and you’d prefer pink, this is not the time to say “Thanks so much for the sweater. I haven’t worn green since I was little, but thanks anyway”. That’s not the best way to truly thank someone.

3. Think of getting a card in the mail as a reminder to keep in touch.

4. The sender of the card or gift could have chosen to send to anyone, but they chose you over others. Understand that, that makes you special in their hearts.

5. BUT DID YOU DIE? if a name is accidently mis-spelled it was most likely not intentional, now unless you repeatedly receive things with an incorrect spelled name, maybe check with the sender/giver as they may not know how to spell your name.

6. The bottom line is this: Saying thank you in any form is better than saying nothing at all. While the world won’t end if you DON’T say thank you, the best way to keep and maintain friendships and good work relationships is to acknowledge the kindness someone has shown you. 
Final thoughts:
I think, at its core, giving thanks for something you’ve received, whether it’s an object, an experience or something intangible like forgiveness or support, is something that just needs to be done, period. The form, timing and details are rarely as important as the simple act of saying thank you. I’ve found I most often get tripped up on trying to make things perfect, when I should just stick to the simple “Thank You” and get the message out. So when in doubt, a simple thank you in any form is the best thing you can do to show your appreciation. I hope the above has helped you in finding creative, timely or most effective ways to say thanks, but the bottom line is this: 
Just say thank you. The person receiving the thanks will just be happy to hear it, the mode and message are rarely as important as the simple act of acknowledging someone’s kindness.
Now for me I have to finish our Thanksgiving cards so that they can go out in today's mail.  The person who hurt my feelings will be getting a card, because that is just how we roll, forgiveness in all things.

Have a great day Dreamerz,


  1. I'm guilty of letting time slip by, saying I need to do send a message. Reading your post made me realize I probably have unintentionally hurt people. I have to do better. With that being said, you know me and that I want you to call me out if I go to long without saying thank you. You are so sweet and I consider myself very lucky to have you in my life. Thank you for being so awesome! Hugs

  2. I really loved reading your blog, it's so true what you say, I have brought my daughter's up knowing these values! Sorry you were hurt by one of your friends but I am so pleased your sending another card their way, sending hugs 💕

  3. I struggle with sender #1. Yes, doing this makes me happy, but it also makes me happy that I've made the recipient happy. If that person doesn't give a horse's patootie (throws them away, NEVER responds), then it's hard to remember #1. I've always said that I'm not gonna change me (love creating and sending) just because the recipient is a grump/jerk (insert your preferred negative Nancy name), but it's wearing me down. Unfortunately, some of these people are family. How do you balance that...regardless if they are friends or family? Deborah

    1. I stopped giving cards (or fancy wrapping) to those who don’t appreciate it. Sometimes it’s just not their thing. And guess what? They don’t even notice. So I spend my creativity and time on those that love it. It’s part of realizing that we don’t all want the same things.

  4. I love this and appreciate you putting your heart and soul into this post. You are such a gentle and kind person and I am so sorry your feelings were hurt.

  5. This is beautiful and absolutely perfect!! A good reminder for us all :)

  6. A card is not a gift and doesn't merit formal acknowledgement in my opinion. If you let go of these expectations, feelings won't be hurt. Then, if the recipient does acknowledge your special card...icing on the cake.

    'Tis better to give than to receive.

  7. I appreciate your post and understand your feelings were hurt. I’m going to add some perspective to the other side of the story. You may not want it or even care for it and I understand that too. You can ignore it if you want. I have a name that few people spell correctly. It isn’t a difficult name, it just is what it is in my opinion. But even after 20 years of marriage my MIL and most of my husband’s family still can’t get it right. My husband and one friend take it personally (I do not). They speak up and make waves about it anytime it happens. This could have been the situation with your card. The offended person could not see what a sweet gesture or lovely card you made- they only saw the error. I’m not excusing it but perhaps that is what they felt.

    I usually find there are two sides to every story. Perhaps that was the case here too.

  8. great post. I agree she should have said thanks for the card, however you spelt our name wrong. Here is how you spell it_____________ for future pretty cards!
    it does not cost anything to say thank you!

  9. Great post. I try to always let a sender of a card know that it arrived. My last name is constantly misspelled but I'm use to it.

    You my dear are awesome💚

  10. I can understand how you feel and am glad you will not stop someone else's behavior change yours. hugs, CarolG

  11. A terrific post! I love to give and receive homemade cards, and I do take it to heart when people don't acknowledge the receipt of gifts. I'm old enough to appreciate that someone took time to think of me, spend their hard earned money, and get the gift to me. Deserves sincere thanks! I'm getting tired of the excuse "I'm so busy".. sorry, but we all make time for things that are important to us.. Its fine for me to go buy a gift, wrap it, make a handmade card, box it up (often having to pick up mailing material), and stop by the PO. Yet, they are "too busy" to send me a text that says "thanks for the gift", ah... Nope!! Get over yourselves and learn some manners, or else you are off my list! I will use that extra time and money for myself! Now, the important thing... did you spell their name right on the Thanksgiving card? LOL

  12. Perfectly said and I totally agree!

  13. My mother-in-law has sent me birthday cards and gifts, Mother’s Day cards, Christmas cards for 39 years now... she has always misspelled my name. Do I care? I just see the love that went into thinking of me.

  14. Wonderful post, you've captured my experiences and feelings perfectly! I have a cousin who always tells my Mom she spelled her last name wrong, yet continues to misspell my Moms first name!



Template by | Header Image by Freepik