But did you die?

Good Morning Dreamerz.

Todays post is not showcasing any cards or projects, but more of a tips for crafters and those who are the recipients of handmade items.

Last week I had my feelings hurt by a friend.  I sent out over 45 Halloween cards at the beginning of October, each with a handmade envelope, and each card different as no 2 cards were alike.  The friend sent me a Facebook message and it said "You spelled our name wrong on the envelope". WOW I was taken aback at this comment, no hello, hi how are you, no hey thank you for the lovely card, just you spelled our name wrong.  I did not even know what to say to this person and actually still have not said anything. 

BACKSTORY

As a little girl growing up I would take great delight in getting cards and letters in the mail.  I was raised in a time when writing letters and sending cards was something special and cheaper than a phone call. I was taught at a young age that even the simplest thank you note for a gift received in the mail or in person required a thank you note. I am thankful now as an adult to have received so many cards and letters from loved ones as I still have a big lovely box filled with them.  Now that many of these important people have passed away, I still have a tangible connection to them.

As a parent I have tried to raise my children with this same ideal. Now I understand modern times have changed the rules on saying thank you, as we now can send text messages, Facebook messages and even what was an expensive thing in the past is pretty much free a phone call. 

I am still a firm believer that if you receive a tangible gift, you send a real note thanking the person, but again that is just me and Miss Manners (showing my age again right?)

Fast Forward to the present and my hurt feelings. I spoke of the Mis-Spelled name to many of my friends in the crafting community, and those not in the community about this, and how it hurt my feelings. The following is some thoughts from them on the situation.

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For senders of gifts or cards:

1. Send from your heart. Do it because it makes you happy, not because you expect anything in return.

2. Remember not everyone is as invested as you in the card or gift you made.

3. It does not have to look like it came from Hallmark or Tiffany's if it was sent from the heart.

4. KEEP IT REAL a fellow crafter I truly admire is Amy Tsuruta, she once sent me a card that she had accidently stamped the inside sentiment upside down. She attached a tiny post it that said "just keeping it real here".  I love this, and have sent many an ooppss card to family and friends. I like to call them happy accidents.

5. REMEMBER #1 ALWAYS. Don't let 1 unthoughtful person keep you from this.

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For recipients of gifts or cards:

1. Acknowledge that you received the card or gift, the sooner the better. Even a simple text saying thank you.  Most of us want to know if the post office lost your item (they can be flaky), and when you say nothing we fear the worst. 

2. Rudeness: You’d think it goes without saying, but sometimes people can use thank yous as a way to be passive aggressive about not liking a gift. If you don’t like it, leave that thought to yourself- notes and messages are about thanking the gesture, not the specifics. (Unless it’s an offensive gift, etc.) If someone sent you a green sweater and you’d prefer pink, this is not the time to say “Thanks so much for the sweater. I haven’t worn green since I was little, but thanks anyway”. That’s not the best way to truly thank someone.

3. Think of getting a card in the mail as a reminder to keep in touch.

4. The sender of the card or gift could have chosen to send to anyone, but they chose you over others. Understand that, that makes you special in their hearts.

5. BUT DID YOU DIE? if a name is accidently mis-spelled it was most likely not intentional, now unless you repeatedly receive things with an incorrect spelled name, maybe check with the sender/giver as they may not know how to spell your name.

6. The bottom line is this: Saying thank you in any form is better than saying nothing at all. While the world won’t end if you DON’T say thank you, the best way to keep and maintain friendships and good work relationships is to acknowledge the kindness someone has shown you. 

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Final thoughts:

I think, at its core, giving thanks for something you’ve received, whether it’s an object, an experience or something intangible like forgiveness or support, is something that just needs to be done, period. The form, timing and details are rarely as important as the simple act of saying thank you. I’ve found I most often get tripped up on trying to make things perfect, when I should just stick to the simple “Thank You” and get the message out. So when in doubt, a simple thank you in any form is the best thing you can do to show your appreciation. I hope the above has helped you in finding creative, timely or most effective ways to say thanks, but the bottom line is this: 

Just say thank you. The person receiving the thanks will just be happy to hear it, the mode and message are rarely as important as the simple act of acknowledging someone’s kindness.

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Now for me I have to finish our Thanksgiving cards so that they can go out in today's mail.  The person who hurt my feelings will be getting a card, because that is just how we roll, forgiveness in all things.

Have a great day Dreamerz,

~MaryAnn~